Shit takes time

On television and in movies, people always seem to know exactly what they want. It is a simplified story that is told. We never see people there just lounging around, restless or bored, trying to figure out what on earth to do with themselves.

When someone dies, there is this almost compulsory moment when people are gathering together in a group, and they all share that same look in their eyes, which is sad, but so insightful. There is a sense of ritual, where the moment itself is brimming with emotion - but when it is all over, people just seem to move on with their lifes.

In relationships, characters in movies and series know what they want as well. They will frequently take the person they (secretly) like by surprise, kissing them in the hopes that the person will kiss them back. And the person at the receiving end never seems to feel the need to just pause and ask themselves "what if... or perhaps not?". They either already know how they feel, or they make up their mind, then and there.

Here is what real life is often like: You hesitate, because you don't bloody well know what it is you want. You think that you are ready for a change, and then you wonder if that is really the case. You spend a lot of time pondering the situation. You are someone who wants to be in a relationship, only you are not entirely sure what type of relationship it is that you would want, so you need to figure that out first. You know you will want a serious, committed relationship - probably somewhere way down the line. For now, maybe you would like to just get to know another person. Spend some time, with no rush. But still, not exactly what you would call "casual" either, since that is decidedly not your style.

You wander how the person that you like feels about you. You think that he probably knows exactly what he wants, because that is what movies have led you to believe is normal. He may be shy, but if he was really into you, surely he would have gotten over his shyness by now, right? Could it be he is gay? That would not be the first! You decide to give him more time, but then you grow impatient. You come up with a brave plan, only to discard it an hour later - after all, you are not Miss Crazypants! And shit really does take time, you know that by now.

Also, in real life, when someone you care for dies, it changes you forever. You are shaken to the very core of your being.

Growing takes time.